Because of jealousy, we lose confidence in each other, and the mutual understanding is gradually destroyed. And in the end, the relationship inevitably ends in a gap. If someone in a couple doubts the partner’s loyalty, feels hurt, anger, self-pity, or shows suspicion – probably there is jealousy in the relationship. Remember that such emotions negatively affect the physical state of health, because feelings and bodily sensations are closely related. Where there is jealousy, after a while there are aggression and desire to fully control the partner. Is it the relationship that you are striving for? How to deal with jealousy in a marriage? Maybe it makes sense to try to cope with the arisen jealousy, until it completely destroyed your union? Here are some thoughts from bridesdating.com
What causes jealousy
The real reason for these feelings, as a rule, is unconsciously hidden by the jealous. Usually what is given out for a reason is only an excuse to experience such emotions. The real triggering mechanism of such strong experiences actually lies inside a jealous man himself and has little relation to the partner.
Often the real cause is lack of self-trust and the sense of inability to maintain a relationship. Low self-esteem, a negative attitude towards oneself makes the jealous man constantly doubt the relationship that he has. Such a person, like no one else, needs constant evidence that he is loved.
Jealous people are often overly focused on relationships. By treating a partner as a part of themselves, they consider this relationship to be the meaning of life, which is why they are so afraid of losing them. On the one hand, the desire to maintain a relationship is a good quality. However, as you know, there must be a limit to everything.
Also, inability to trust a partner can lead to jealousy. Usually, distrust in a relationship is caused by a painful negative experience in the past or a basic understanding of the alarming perception of the world, learned from childhood. In any case, a jealous man, relying on his negative views, doesn’t allow himself to be happy today. This often entails overcontrol, the desire to spend all free time alone with the object of adoration.
How can you deal with jealousy?
The most important thing that you have to do in order to overcome your own jealousy is to sincerely admit to yourself that you really experience this feeling. The second step will be to identify the real reason, which makes you jealous again and again. Be honest with yourself. Try to determine whether there is a really reason for jealousy, or you just too value your loved one and afraid of losing him.
Perhaps your relationship has changed, for some reason you have less time to spend with each other, or less often talk about your feelings. It is quite normal if you lack the past intimacy and therefore you are afraid that something may go wrong between you. Remember that in reality your distance can probably be explained by quite objective reasons: the appearance of a child, additional commitment of work, or new exciting hobbies.
Talk about your feelings with your loved one, tell him what lies behind your suspicions. Often, in order to preserve relations, people make concessions. Probably, if there is no possibility to spend more time together, you will be able to add more quality to communication, so that you can feel yourself necessary and desired again.
If you understand that the man finds enough time for you, but, nevertheless, you still can’t cope with a feeling of jealousy, pay attention to what is happening to you. Sometimes people are too focused on relationships and begin to perceive themselves and their partner as a united body. Try to secede, find a hobby that will please you.
If you are self-conscious and afraid that the partner will find out all your shortcomings and leave for another, think about the fact that he is with you now, so you have something that attracts him and makes him struggle for your happiness.
If you don’t know how to deal with your romantic jealousy, just remember that if a person wants to cheat you, he will find a way to do it. It is impossible to control each his step. It is important to understand that a truly loving man, who is acceptable to relationships, will never cheat his woman.
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